And Why Do You Keep Finding Losers?
Alright, let’s get real because I am tired of hearing the same damn question over and over:
- “Where are all the good men?”
- “Where are all the good women?”
- “Why do I keep attracting these low-effort, no-plan-having, emotionally unavailable people who make me question my life choices?”
Oh, honey. Pull up a chair, grab a drink, and let’s talk about it—because some of y’all are out here looking for love in all the wrong damn places, wearing all the wrong damn outfits, and expecting the universe to just deliver a soulmate to your doorstep like it’s DoorDash.
First of all, get out of those ratty-ass sweatpants. Yes, you. I already know you’re sitting there scrolling on dating apps, wrapped up in a blanket, wondering why your love life is circling the drain. Sugar, if you want to meet someone worth your time, you gotta start looking like you’re worth their time. Fix your hair, put on something cute, and stop moving through life like you’re auditioning for the role of “Person Who Gave Up.”
Now, let’s talk about these dating apps. Baby, delete them. All of them. Match, Tinder, Bumble, Plenty of Fish, and especially Grindr—because you are not about to find your soulmate between blurry bathroom selfies and a “Hey” text at 2 AM. The good ones? They’re not sitting there, swiping through profiles like they’re shopping in the clearance section. They are out in the world, living their lives, doing interesting things, waiting for someone with just as much energy to match.
Meanwhile, you’re still sitting in your living room, rewatching a show you’ve seen fifteen times, waiting for the right person to magically show up. Do you see the problem?
The person you’re looking for—the one with ambition, the one who takes care of themselves, the one who actually knows how to plan a proper damn date—is out here hiking, taking cooking classes, sipping cocktails at a rooftop bar, hitting up a concert, grabbing a book at a cozy café, laughing with friends at a comedy club. They are not locked in an endless cycle of “wyd?” texts, and they are not waiting for you to find them from the comfort of your couch.
And let’s be honest—if you keep attracting losers, we need to talk about you for a second. Because at some point, it’s not just them, it’s also you. Now, don’t get mad—I love you, but let’s tell the truth and shame the devil. Are you showing up as the kind of person you would want to date? Are you carrying around unresolved baggage, setting low-effort standards, or entertaining people just because they’re available?
Because the good ones can smell desperation from a mile away, and they are not sticking around for the mess. The losers? Oh, they love it. They thrive on low expectations, minimal effort, and people who keep giving them chances they don’t deserve.
And speaking of low expectations, let’s talk about how some of y’all are out here settling for the absolute bare minimum. Why are you chasing people who won’t even text you back consistently? Why are you getting excited over “good morning” texts from someone who hasn’t asked you on a proper date? That’s not romance, that’s a participation trophy. If they can’t pick up the phone, make a plan, and act like they’re actually interested, they do not belong in your life.
You know what the right one is gonna do? Show up. Be consistent. Make it clear where you stand. Not have you out here guessing and hoping they actually like you.
But let’s be clear—you have to stop treating loneliness like it’s a death sentence. Some of you are so scared to be single that you’re willing to entertain nonsense just to have someone to text. Baby, being alone is not the problem. Being with the wrong person is.
Let me tell you something—the second you stop chasing, stop settling, stop entertaining distractions, and start actually living for yourself, the right people will show up. The ones who are stable, grown, emotionally mature, and ready to build something real. Because when you move like you know your worth, you attract people who know it too.
So let’s wrap this up—delete the damn apps, get up, get dressed, and go outside. Love is not hiding in your phone. It’s out in the world, waiting for you to actually participate in it.
Now go fix your hair, lose the rat pants, and act like the damn catch you are. The good ones are waiting, baby. Don’t keep them waiting too long. 💋
